What if I fail? This question kept me from trying to lose weight for many years. The better question is not what if I fail, but what if I do nothing? If I do nothing, I will surely fail. So on the positive side, I am doing something. I’m in an awesome weight loss coaching group, Sweet Change. God has helped me break some bad habits and establish new ones, such as swimming and drinking lots of water, but the weight isn’t coming off steadily.
I’m going to be real today. I have failures in my life. I suppose we all do, but most of the time we don’t admit them or write about them. Today, I need to do both. I have cheated on my eating plan and that is hard to admit.
In recent months I’m going up and down within the same 10-pound range. I’m still down 22 pounds from my highest weight and I am thankful for that, but I also feel embarrassed that I’m not making more visible progress.
There truly has been progress and many unseen victories, but the bottom line is I am still eating more than my body needs. So on one hand, I have failed, but on the other I have learned much about what I need to do to get the weight off.
I need to stop snacking on healthy things that have high calories, such as nuts, cheeses, even bean-based chips. These things can be healthy, but they have too much fat and too many calories for me to eat, except in very small quantities. I also need to stop the occasional evening popcorn splurge, which is more carbs than I should have).
In despair over the last month, I actually broke into the Honey Nut Cheerios a few times late at night when I was unable to sleep due to arthritis pain. That upset me more than anything else, because I know after years of experience that any foods with sugar are a major danger zone for me.
Really, what all this says is that I still struggle with running to food for comfort and satisfaction. I need to stop that and start running to the comfort of the Holy Spirit instead.
After the middle-of-the-night cereal episode, I asked my husband to help me re-arrange the kitchen. We moved the cereal to a place less visible to me. The temptation proved to be too much when I was at my weakest. The devil knows how to tempt me when I am feeling low and I fell for the lie that cereal would make me feel better and soothe my worries about health issues.
As ashamed as I felt about the cereal, the next morning I needed to fess up. I know by now that have to ask for help to get to the root cause so I don’t keep making this mistake. So I went to Sweet Change group and shared what I had done. I didn’t find condemnation and shame, but grace and encouragement to stay the course and as always, the guidance to go to God instead of food in my time of need.
I believe the gospel. I believe that despite my failure, my sin, my weaknesses, I can go to God and repent. I believe I am still loved, forgiven and cherished by my heavenly Father. That’s a bold thing to believe when you walk around life weighing more than 350 pounds. I know, though, that I have His sweet, Sweet Grace no matter what I’ve done.
I John 1:9 says “If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us.” Yep, even that one sin that I fall into, over and over and over. He will forgive me as far as the east is from the west,1 and each day his mercies are new.2 My goal ultimate goal is to live my life in obedience out of gratitude to Him whatever I eat or drink or whatever I do.3
Because there was that one night a few nights later. I did my battle in prayer, begging God for His help before I went down to the kitchen in the middle of the night. And God indeed helped me, for He is a very present help in trouble.4 I woke up with a clear conscience.
Teresa, our coach, said in one of our recent Sweet Change group videos that “God wants it for us more than we want it for ourselves.” Despite all my failure, I have a mustard seed of faith.5 I am convinced that God wants me to trust Him and obey in faith that I will find needed healing, body, soul and spirit. I have faith that I will one day have a body that will be better able to serve my family and minister to others. By His grace, I trust this is yet to come in my life.
One other thing Teresa shared about in her video was on the topic brokenness. That is, asking God to break us where we need to be broken.
I am in a broken place right now.
I’m dealing with an arthritis flare that just won’t quit. The fatigue and pain have been relentless since mid-August. I’ve been to my rheumatologist and we had a thorough discussion, including about my weight. I don’t really have to change my eating plan. I just need to follow it diligently, and add a little more fish for anti-inflammatory effects. He is doing more tests and will likely try a new medication, depending on the results.
I copied my eating plan out by hand, and hung it up in my kitchen again. I talked to my husband again about what I’m doing, and now I am asking for your prayers. It’s not a hard plan and I need to follow it so that I can get some weight off and not make my inflammatory arthritis situation even worse than it is already.
That is the reality. That is why I continue to need my Sweet Change Weight Loss group. I thought Teresa would give up on me, but all she does is continue to encourage me and coaches me to identify root causes of my emotional eating so I can be free, once and for all. Sweet Change is a place where I feel safe being honest.
The question is not so no longer what if I fail, but what did I learn from my failures so I won’t do them again? I’m in this for the long haul. Success is just around the corner, just beyond the next failure.
Thanks for sticking with me and cheering me on through the good and the bad times.
Since October Sweet Change Group has been talking about Emotional Eating and Sweet Freedom Principles. Want to know why you keep eating when you really don’t want to? We’re going deep and getting down to some of the core issues. I’m leading the group through my new book, Sweet Freedom: Losing Weight and Keeping It Off With God’s Help, helping members implement these life-changing principles. We will be going through these principles for several months to help focus on losing instead of gaining through the holidays in order to enter the New Year healthier than ever befpre. Learn how you can get #KickWeight FREE when you join Sweet Change NOW. By the way, that’s the only way you can get into #KickWeight as that group is closed for the six-month session. Are you ready for the transformation of your life? Join now by going HERE.
P.S. WAIT, there’s one last thing I want to give you. For a very limited time, get $20 off your first month in Sweet Change group by using the VIP coupon code sweetchange20. Just enter in the coupon code slot on the Shopping Cart page. Remember, just for you and any friends you want to bring along. Hurry, offer may go away at any time.
Karen Fritzemeier is a homeschooling mom to two children. She and Dean have been married for ten years and live in Michigan. For other posts by Karen, go here. She blogs at http://blueandgreentogether.com/
1Psalm 103:12 NIV
2Lamentations 3:23 ESV
3I Corinthians 10:13 ESV
4Psalm 46:1 KJV
5Luke 17:6 ESV