What happens when your husband doesn’t understand you are drowning in sugar mania? What if he has seen you try and fail on countless diets? His experience says, “There she goes again. This time she’s cutting out sugar. She’ll lose some weight and gain it all back for the millioneth time.”
If he is a naturally thin eater, like my husband, he will have no comprehension of why you can’t eat just a little sugar every now and then. He won’t be able to understand that when you eat sugar, bread, pasta, potatoes or anything that converts quickly to sugar, you can’t stop.
You have a broken metabolism. If you keep eating sugar, it will only wreak more havoc on your body. He may think you just have no willpower, that you are lazy, that you are making up excuses for your indulgence.
He may even say, “Just eat a little and stop.” But once you start you can’t stop because it is like poison to your system. And you’re screaming like a maniac, “Give me sugar NOW and no one gets hurt.”
Diets and More Diets
For years, I would bounce from diet to diet. My husband and family saw me lose and gain hundreds of pounds over the years. After a certain point, they stopped believing it was possible for me to ever lose weight and keep it off.
When things weren’t going well in my marriage, I always assumed it was because of my weight. So I’d go on another diet to fix the problem. Of course, I wasn’t going on it to fix myself, but to fix the issues. I was doing it for my husband, who actually never complained about my weight.
When I weighed 400 pounds and lost even 40 pounds, it didn’t show very much. If he didn’t give me compliments for trying, I just gave up. Sure, I wanted to be a normal weight, but there was just too much emotional junk in me to wade through and try to take care of. Giving up my one pacifier wasn’t helping. I felt I needed my “fix” of whatever I wanted to eat.
The beginning for me was when a rude cardiac surgeon told me I didn’t need open heart surgery. “You heart was never designed to pump blood through a body of your size. You need to lose at least 100 pounds or more and keep it off or you will be dead in five years.”
In that moment, it finally became about me. I wanted to live for myself, to see my children grow up, to meet my grandchildren, to grow old with my husband and to do the things God put me here on earth to do.
I finally owned my desire to get healthy. I finally owned the fact that I am a sugar addict.
I had to do this for myself. I had to accept where I was and be OK with those close to me not understanding. I was, in essence, allergic to sugar. How did it affect me? It made me crave it, and when I start eating it, I cannot stop.
Why Can’t I Make Them Understand?
I can’t, nor should I, try to make others understand. I can and should seek to do whatever I can to allow God to transform me—body, soul and spirit.1 I am responsible to God for myself. I am responsible to be obedient2 to know and do what God wants for me. I have to act in my best interests.
Do this for yourself, for your children and grandchildren. Do this so they can learn how to live healthy lives. Do this to leave a legacy of life and blessings for them.3
Today, I can say that with God’s help I understand my addiction and have it under control ONLY by hanging on to Jesus with all that is within me.
God didn’t cause your weight issue, but He will use it to draw you so close to Him you will feel at times you are going to burst with the overwhelming feeling of His power 4 within you. It’s the weight of His glory5 that falls on His children who love, obey and are fully committed to Him.
It’s what He wants for each of us and He will use whatever we have in our hands to get us there. For many of us that is a whole lot of weight. I’m through that issue. So now, for me, it is the fact that I am and always will be a sugar addict, who is being transformed only by God’s Sweet Grace.
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1 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 NKJV
2 1 Peter 1:13-16 NKJV
3 Deuteronomy 30:19-20 NLT
4 Acts 1:8 NIV
5 2 Corinthians 3:18 NIV