Any relationship, including, marriage, friendship, familial, vocational, is like playing an ageless piece of music with God as the Conductor.
No beautiful music happens unless the focus is always on the Conductor.
This holds true even if the relationship is a difficult one. It holds true even if the person we’re in relationship with isn’t a Christian.
So how can we play beautiful music, if the other person isn’t a Christian and isn’t looking at the Conductor?
Let me ask you this, How does someone discover who Jesus is? Of course, it is through another person.
Therefore, we have to point out who the Conductor is and if the person wants the music to shine, they will want to follow the Conductor.
In every relationship we have, there is another Person present if you are a Christian. If you allow the God in you to be the Conductor of your life, He will make any relationship begin to harmonize.
There is a triangle diagram that is used primarily to illustrate a Christian marriage. It has God at the pinnacle of the triangle and husband and wife at the corners of the bottom.
Both the man and woman are on the same plane, but God is above them. If both are looking to Him, the closer they get to Him, the closer they get to each other.
This illustration works for relationships with any Christian. When we grow closer to God, we grow closer to each other. Difficulties still ensue, but if each is taking them to God, the rough patches will smooth out into a calm melody.
If we are in a relationship with a non Christian, their connection to God might best be seen as a dotted line. There is a relationship from God’s side to the Christian, but there it is not reciprocal relationship, yet
God is wooing them. He wants to be their Conductor. You are showing them what a relationship with God is like, provided you are staying focused on the Conductor and not on the other person.
This difficulty of looking only to the other person also happens in Christian marriages and relationships.
When we look horizontally at the other person more than at God, we are focusing in the wrong direction. To scrutinize another person in order to “fix” them or make them be the person you are is to control them.
No one wants to be controlled. Some may gravitate towards controlling relationships for a while thinking the person will solve all their problems. Soon, though, they will be searching for another orchestra to join.
On the flip side, setting someone up on a pedestal can make them very uncomfortable, especially when they don’t meet your expectations for someone sitting on a pedestal. Pedestal sitting, after all, is for perfect people.
Since there are no perfect people, it is quite difficult to live up to those expectations.
Horizontal thinking is one-dimensional thinking. It is only what we can see in the here and now. We measure our friend, family member or spouse in relationship to every human all on the horizontal line.
We are pushing and shoving ourselves and the ones we are relationship with to get to be first chair. Someone has to play second and third, though, for the music to sound right.
God is multi-dimensional. From His perspective, which is far above ours, He sees everything for us. Not only us, but the other person in the triangle with us and all the other people in the world.
I’m connected to my son in a triangle with God. I’m also connected to my daughter and God in a triangle. My husband is connected to each of them, as well. Then each person they are connected to is connected to God and so on until there is this vortex with God at the pinnacle of all seven billion plus triangles.
Science knows about the first through fifth dimensions, but there’s no way to even begin to map the God-dimension.
He is far above us and sees and conducts everything past, present and future. And yet, by means of His Holy Spirit He is living, moving and active in my life and yours right now.
The exciting thing is this multi-dimensional CEO of the universe is our personal guide through this maze we call life.
In addition, to make sure we play our part in this monstrous orchestra, He has instilled in us unique gifts. We are not like anyone else in the universe today or anyone who ever was or ever will be.
If your mind isn’t blown yet, just try looking at this maze from God’s perspective. In 2012, NASA released a series of photos taken of earth at night from outer space. The interwoven lights give us some small perspective of what we might look like to someone “out there.”
Yet, even that is not the view God sees. For one thing, God doesn’t just look on the outward appearance like man does. He looks at the heart.1
Many times even we don’t know what’s in our heart, much less what’s in someone else’s. Only God knows and only God can direct us to share with another person at the level that will meet them where they are. When that happens, bang, there is connection. Then, bang, the music of heaven is released.
We must understand how God sees us and how He sees us in relationship with another person. It’s not just for us, it’s for the other person and the one watching that interaction and the other one connected with the one watching and so on.
It’s a mass series of interconnections that God, the master Conductor, orchestrates if we are all playing the right instrument, music, tempo, measure, note and emphasis.
Then imagine millions of songs being played at millions of different times with billions of different people all playing different instruments, some we can’t even conceive of.
The result sounds like the music of heaven, music we don’t only hear, but absorb deep within.
It only happens if we are playing our part and not our husband’s, son’s, daughter’s, or best friend’s.
It boils down to this, we have to keep intimately connected to God and know the gifts He has placed in us. We have to know what song He wants us to play. Each day may be different so we must never take our eyes off the Conductor.
If we do this, our relationships will stop sounding like chalk screeching across the chalkboard and begin to sound like a real, genuine, from-the-heart, rhapsody.
What part is God calling you to play?
1 1 Samuel 16:7
Teresa Shields Parker is a wife, mother, business owner, life group leader, speaker and author of Sweet Grace: How I Lost 250 Pounds and Stopped Trying to Earn God’s Favor and Sweet Grace Study Guide: Practical Steps to Lose Weight and Overcome Sugar Addiction. Get a free chapter of her memoir on her blog at Teresa Shields Parker.com. Connect with her there or on her Facebook page.