I was a bossy kid, I’ll admit it. I blame it on the fact that when my mother was having emotional issues I had to make decisions, grown up decisions like what to fix for supper or whether or not my brother and/or sister could go over to a friend’s house.
These weren’t monumental decisions, but for someone who wasn’t yet in high school they were adult decisions. Here’s the deal, though, I liked making decisions, being in charge, being the boss. It’s really a miracle that I never once heard my brother or sister say to me, “You’re not the boss of me.” I think that’s because we all knew what the rules were. Essentially each of us was, in a way, our own boss.
We mostly lived in a self-contained sanctuary for most of our growing up years. There were five houses along our part of the street with a large wooded area between us and any other houses. We knew everyone who lived in every house.
Across the street was a church my brother and I attended when my mother was sick and Dad had to stay with her on Sunday mornings. There were houses behind us and to the side of us, but our yards and their yards were fenced so we didn’t venture past our defined areas.
Being in charge didn’t take much because my brother and sister knew the limits and abided by them. It didn’t take much to keep them in line except on two specific occasions I can remember vividly.
Out of Bounds
One time my brother was out of bounds was when he and an older boy in the neighborhood, snuck into the drive-in theater, about a half mile from where we lived.
They barely escaped getting caught by the security guard. I only knew about it because of the huge scrape on my brother’s arm and tear in his shirt where the older boy had to pull him off the fence as they were escaping.
The other was when my little sister decided to run away from home with her best friend. They both packed suitcases and were walking down the outer road of the interstate when this very angry big sister caught up with them!
In both cases I read my brother and sister the riot act and threatened them with every possible thing I could think of as a discipline. In both incidents, though, I remember feeling my power deflate like a flat balloon. See, I didn’t have any permission to punish them.
I had been given the authority of looking after them, but the only threat I had was to tell them I would tell my father on them. I had no other way of making them follow what I said.
Essentially, though, my brother and sister did what I said and we all did what we knew our father would want us to do because we trusted that he loved us and we didn’t want to let him down.
What God Says
It’s exactly why we should follow what our Father God tells us. “I hear the Lord saying, ‘I will stay close to you, instructing and guiding you along the pathway for your life. I will advise you along the way and lead you forth with my eyes as your guide,’” (Psalm 32:8 TPT).
Dad was the one who sat the tone in our home. We all knew what kind of person he would want us to be and we lived our lives accordingly. I just reminded my brother and sister of that when they forgot.
I can remember as a teenager getting into some pretty intense situations myself. I was always thinking, “What would my Dad want me to do?” He trusted me and sometimes that made me mad because it meant I couldn’t blame anything I did on him. He knew I knew to do the right thing.
Wanting My Own Way
Unfortunately, this morphed into me thinking I have the right to do whatever I want. I can be the boss of me. I stopped paying attention to what my Dad and my heavenly Father would want me to do in certain situations. Most of the time I still did the right thing with big stuff like lying, cheating, stealing, and so forth.
However, there was still this stubborn streak in me that wanted to be in charge. That played out in my life by eating what I wanted when I wanted it. Even though I wanted to lose weight, I still wanted to eat what I wanted to eat more than I wanted to lose weight. “God, you can have every other area, but I’m in charge of my food.”
It seems when we get to the point where we realize we really don’t have control over much of anything, that’s when we decide we can eat whatever we want. We can be fat and happy until a health issue smacks us in the face and we realize, “Houston, we’ve got a BIG problem here.”
Right after the verse in Psalm that talks about God leading us, He gives us a very needed warning that can mean the difference between life and death.
“So don’t make it difficult; don’t be stubborn when I take you where you’ve not been before. Don’t make me tug you and pull you along. Just come with me!” (Psalm 32:9 TPT).
Here’s the truth, God will not into drag you into the Kingdom kicking and screaming. He will wait patiently for you to get to the bottom of yourself, just like He did with me. He’ll wait for you to realize you do need a Leader to follow, One you can trust completely. You need God to be the boss of you!
At 430 pounds I had exhausted every resource I had to lose weight. I needed a God-sized intervention. I had to admit, I cannot be the boss of me in this area. I am weak around food. God, I need Your strength to get me through. When I gave up trying to be the boss of me and allowing Him to guide me, I received His supernatural grace strength to do what I couldn’t do one minute before.
In that place I found that “the strength of Christ’s explosive power infuses me to conquer every difficulty” I had with setting food on the throne of my life instead of God, (Phil 4:13 TPT).
After losing more than 250 pounds, I understand now that when I am totally submitted to God as the Leader and Boss of every area of my life, I am free from the strongholds and addictions of this world. There is nothing that tastes as good as God’s freedom feels. Nothing!
If you need help on your journey, I urge you to sign up on the waitlist now for my Overcomers Christian Weight Loss Academy. If you sign up now for the waitlist every week until we open, you will be receiving free resources I’ve handpicked just for you. It will help prepare you to be ready when the group opens on July 29. To get on waitlist sign up here: https://teresashieldsparker.com/overcomers-christian-weight-loss-academy/