Take one word and write on it for five minutes nonstop. I was just finishing up another project when I checked my inbox and there was Lisa Jo Baker’s Five-Minute Friday word. Why not? I wanted to write something about my mother. Honestly, I didn’t know what might come out. My mother and I did not have the best of relationships. But when I think of this word, I do think of her.

Comfort. Five minutes. Go.

My mother and father and their grandchildren. This was about a year before my mother died.

“Honey, it’s OK. Go ahead and cry. No matter how old you are, it hurts to lose your Momma.”

She was in her late 70s, our pastor’s wife. Her mother was 99 when died a few weeks earlier.

I wasn’t yet 40 and my mother had just died a week before. She was 61.

Mom wasn’t a warm and cuddly mother, at least not that I remember. I was the oldest. The angriest. The most rebellious. The one doing everything while my mother had a nervous breakdown.

So, we were never close. Until the last few months. Until I forgave her for not being there all my life. Until I thanked her for loving my children. Until I realized she was leaving soon.

My 40th birthday was by far my worst.

Who had always thrown my birthday parties? My mother.

Who had prayed for me everyday?  My advocate. My mother.

Who held my hand when the doctor said he was going in immediately for an emergency c-section because my son was in distress? My tough-in-a-crisis, breakdown-in-everyday situations stronghold. My mother.

Who came and watched my newborn daughter everyday for a month after she was born even though she had been diagnosed with cancer? My bedrock. My mother.

Who had a drawer full of every article I had ever written including those from junior high school? My biggest fan. My mother.

I miss you. Mom.

Stop and tell me you are still here.

Teresa Shields Parker

Teresa Shields Parker is a Christian weight loss author, coach, podcaster, and speaker, who has lost 250 pounds and kept it off since 2013. Her books include: “Reconnecting Jayne: Her Sister’s Support,” “Rebuilding Jayne: Her Father’s Protection,”  “Sweet Grace: How I Lost 250 Pounds and Stopped Trying to Earn God’s Favor,” “Sweet Grace Study Guide,”  “Sweet Victory: Winning the Battle,” “Sweet Surrender: Breaking Strongholds,” “Sweet Journey to Transformation: Practical Steps to Lose Weight and Live Healthy”, “Sweet Freedom: Losing Weight and Keeping It Off With God’s Help,” “Sweet Freedom Study Guide,” “Sweet Change: True Stories of Transformation,” “Sweet Hunger: Developing an Appetite for God,” and “Sweet Excuses: Stop Lying to Yourself & Start Losing Weight.” She also offers Overcomers Christian Weight Loss Academy and VIP intensive coaching. Don’t miss her weekly podcast, Sweet Grace for Your Journey, where she shares tips from her personal journey of losing weight and discovering healthy living. Contact her at [email protected].